Two men were walking on the street. Both were talking and spitting on both sides of the road. A passer-by stopped me and asked,
"Why are they spitting all the time they were talking"
"They are Congress leaders. They were discussing Pappu in Parliament", I told.
He spit and asked, "What is new?"
I told him a joke doing rounds in my childhood. It goes on like this.
Two men were travelling in a train. There was another passenger sitting opposite. The first one of the two started a conversation.
"Where are you going?"
"Oh! I am also going there. What is your work there?"
" I am attending marriage of my cousin. You?"
"I am also attending marriage of my cousin."
"Where do you stay in Hyderabad?"
"In Ashok Nagar."
"Surprising! I too stay there."
"Your House Number?"
"Wonderful! I also stay in the same house,"
The person sitting opposite got irritated. "What men! You say you stay in the same house. How is that you are strangers?"
Then they replied. "We are brothers. To spend time we are just talking. Or else how can we kill time?"
At this, the passer -by burst into splits of laughter and spit again. "So! what has this to do this with Pappu in Parliament?"
"Simple! Yesterday, he was given two minutes by the speaker to speak, even though his name was not on the list of speakers. If you had read my earlier blog you would have known that he dismissed all script writers. No senior guided him as he was not on the list.
He wanted to counter Sushma's argument. Sushma laid allegations on his late father Sri Rajiv Gandhi. All eyes were on him that he would reply to the allegations.
"Madam Speaker!" He took a Michael Jackson turn to the back. All clapped. "Madam Speaker! I want to ask three questions to Sushma Jee!"
"No questions. If you have anything new, you can place before the house" the speaker shouted.
Poor guy was not trained to answer any questions. Like a parrot he repeated. "Madam! I want to ask three questions to Sushma Jee!"
Madam knows his weakness. She allowed him to continue. "Only two minutes", she warned.
Suddenly, his attention was drawn by another split part of his brain. You can read my earlier blog about splits in his brain , if you want.
" Yesterday, I met Sushma Jee! She asked me "Beta! Why are you after me?"
"I told her she committed a crime. I saw into her eyes and said this. She dropped her eyes and saw the ground and felt ashamed. What did this indicate? Was it not accepting her crime?"
Those who read news papers regularly and each word in all the accessible papers, remembered that he narrated the same incident in the same words a month or so back.
He continued, " I am asking Sushma Jee, how much money did she receive from Lalit Modi? How much money her relations, husband, daughter receive from him?"
This is also old wine in old bottle. Surprisingly, he does not forget even a single word or sequence of words. He has great memory of short sentences.
He continued, "Why did she conduct the whole affair secretively? Why did she not inform even the Prime Minister?"
Parrot was talking from memory.
He turned his ire on Modi, "He is afraid of us. He is not seen here". Repetition.
"He said "main Khaungaa nahin, naa khane dungaa". He promised Rs.15.00 lalks black money in each account. Where is it?"
Down from memory lane.
"Do you know, IPL is the main generator of black money?" He forgot one Congress MP was the IPL chairman after Lalit.
During the whole of the speech, he was making Michael Jackson moves, turning this side, turning that side, bending on the bench, closing eyes, wearing mask, showing us monsters accompanied by drum beats by around 25 Congress MPs.
He did not finally answer the allegations on his father. Reason was there was no script. This was what he rehearsed. He sat foaming in the mouth and his mother led a walk out, happy that he spoke, like a mother who would feel happy when her baby said, "Ka Ka" first time.
But he was given two minutes. He had to spend two minutes' time like the brothers in the train. He spent it. Here 1.25 cr. people got irritated but could not ask him, as he walked out.
Passer-by was amused. "Instead of spitting why do these guys not leave Congress?" he asked.
"Because they know that one day, too soon, mother and son would go on a long sabbatical and the one of these two could be the Congress President." I replied.
He sighed, spit, spit and spit. (Nitish and Lalu were not there to collect samples for DNA)
I asked, "By chance, you are also....?"
"Yes! I am also a Congress leader waiting for a chance." He sighed, spit and went away.
It dawned. Sun took back the loan he had given to the Moon last night and again was his own self. Son also woke up fresh with what was taught last night by the seniors and recited it twenty times until he got it by heart. Pappu addressed the Press. He answered Sushma's questions of yesterday before Media.
He said, " Highest Judiciary cleared my father's name"
Highest Judiciary cleared his father's name in BOFORS scandal. The Italian Mafia issue and the Anderson issue are still a mystery. And he said, the judicial class approved their way of rule or something like that"
If you know tweet to me, why Judiciary intervenes in executive matters. Do not tweet to Rahul. He can not understand.
Arun Jaitely said, "Rahul is an expert without knowledge. To the trumpet beating Media, he told that the dictionary meaning of expert was "knowledgeable." I remembered a story one of my friends was telling. He was a Muslim friend and was very close to me. He was my customer in the Bank.
The story is like this.
"A Naturally Khan and an Unnaturally Sarma were travelling by train. Khan Sab was sturdy, well-built with muscles. and strong. He was an "expert wrestler" those days. Sarma was weak, looking like a skeleton and emaciated by poverty.
Sarma had to take down his trunk from the top. He could not carry the weight. The wrestler Khan lifted the trunk with his finger and said,
"Gosh (mutton) khao! Sarma! Gosh Khao! Idly mein kya hain?"
After a few minutes, Sarma wanted to pull the chain to stop the train as he wanted to get down and go back. He could not.
So, Khan pulled the chain with the little finger and again repeated, "Gosh khao! Sarama! Gosh!"
The train stopped. The RPF came. Everyone pointed to Khan that he pulled the chain. The were taking him away.
Sarma told Khan, "Idly khao, Khan! Idly! You are an expert wrestler, but you lack knowledge. I am an expert teacher, but I have knowledge"
This joke tells us that all experts are not knowledgeable. Expertise in a subject differs from knowledge. "He is an expert drunkard. Can swallow five bottles and stand erect. Can you do this?" He is expert in drinking only, not knowledgeable in any other subject.
Beta! Rahul! Seekho! Learn and talk.
"WORDS OUT OF TUNE WITH TIMES
WORDS THAT BRING GRIEF TO THE END
WORDS THAT BRING PAIN TO OTHERS
ARE ANY DAY AS GOOD AS POISON!"
"IT IS UNWISE TO BE CLOSE TO
MEN WHO ARE WICKED AND CRUEL
AVOID SUCH HEINOUS PERSONS
AS YOU AVOID POISONOUS SNAKES"
So, Beta! Rahul! Go on long sabbatical. Avoid Bangkok. Do go to Sweden, Norway, Finland or Denmark. Come back refined. Or your seniors and Media give you false notion that you are an expert with knowledge.
(HERE IN THIS JOKE, THERE IS NOTHING AGAINST RELIGION OR NON-VEGETARIANISM. IT WAS JUST A JOKE BEING TOLD BY MY MUSLIM FRIEND, WITH WHOM I WAS MOVING VERY CLOSELY, AS WE WERE OF THE SAME AGE. I REQUEST READERS TO TAKE IT AS A JOKE ONLY,THAT DOES ROUNDS IN HYDERABAD IN MUSLIM CIRCLES, AS I HEARD THE SAME STORY FROM TWO OR THREE FRIENDS FROM OLD CITY)
VANDE MATARAM- HAPPY 69TH INDPENDENCE DAY