Wednesday, January 1, 2014


THE YEAR 2014 -THE CENTENARY YEAR OF MY FATHER



My father would have completed 100 years of age this year had he been alive today. A posthumous centenary celebration would have been appropriate. But it was not to be. Mother occupies the prime place in a man's life until wife takes away this space little by little. Rarely a father has so much influence on one's life as my father had on my psyche. 

As head of a large family of seven children my father always had a special place for me in his heart. One reason might be I was the weakest in constitution and health and the other I was the brightest as a student. My father was a physician in a village dispensary in a prosperous village in Guntur District, AP from the time I had worldly knowledge. To his credit goes the fact that he was the only doctor who worked in the village for more than a year and the only one who stayed put in the same village always available to the patients. He worked there for fourteen years. Other doctors prior to him and those who came later were staying in the nearby town, on duty during morning hours only.

Until I passed the eleventh class, I remember standing with folded hands in front of my father whenever he called me. Such was the discipline with which he brought us up. We used to have dinner together, all the eight members of the family sitting in semi circle. None was allowed to say a word during dinner time. Timings were strict. We used to complete dining by 7.30 PM and study for half an hour later. After we completed the studies, each one of us used to stand before him with folded hands and tell him what we read, take one or two questions from him and then go to sleep. On occasions he used to sit with us in front of the kerosene lamp and teach us English grammar. (I continued this practice in my later life with my children too and we used to put off lights by 9 p.m. come what may).And he persuaded us to read English news paper at very early stages of our lives. The habit remained in my family. I went a step ahead and inculcated the habit in my children even before they entered sixth class. 

An event in my life left a lasting mark in my life. The dispensary where my father was working used to be situated on way to my school. One day, I required white papers urgently and my mother asked me to collect money from my father on the way. By the time I reached there he was out to attend a patient. The nurse enquired why I went there and took out a few papers from the cup board and sent me to school. That evening, while I was returning from school, the attender called me inside and without saying a word my father slapped me on my cheek so hard that I fell down. The nurse wept copiously and took me aside. After returning home he told my complaining mother that it was not about one or two papers but it was about stealing government property. That speaks all about his character.

By the time I completed SSLC my father retired from service with only one son settled in employment. With no savings, no assets and no income we had spent the worst part of our lives. The only income was Rs. 100/- p.m. from his share in private practice with another doctor, national merit scholarship of Rs.100/- p.m. I was getting and the occasional Rs.50/- my eldest brother was sending. The rest was through hand loans that my school head master and other landlords used to extend and they were insisting that I sign the promissory notes. With all this, my father slipped into depression and got severe abdominal ulcers.

A real break came when, before completion of my graduation I landed in a good job with LIC of India. There were celebrations. I dreamed of taking my father to Hyderabad, set up his private practice and see that he again lived life like the King he had been once. But God decided otherwise. The same day I joined service in Hyderabad, my father landed in hospital with a severe paralysis stroke and died 45 days later. At the age of nineteen my dreams shattered, my life took a u-turn. Rest is history. The only words that ring in my ears are what he said when I visited him in hospital. He was stammering as he lost his voice., "God punished me for taking your scholarship money and making you sign the promissory notes. Again I am leaving this world placing the responsibility of the family in your hands." and he cried like a child. 

Whatever good I have done in my life, it was a gift given by my father. He made me a man. Whatever sins I might have committed intentionally or otherwise, it was an injustice done by me to the values for which my father strived throughout his life. To say he was a God to me is belittling him. He had been more than that.

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This is a tribute to the man behind my successes in life. This is the only tribute I can pay him today since I am poor again in the evening of my life. God's ways are always mysterious. 


14 comments:

  1. Nostalgic memories would help many in the younger generation. Having been brought up in a similar situation, I cannot but recall the Tamil Proverb translated as - There is no great mantra than father's word -"Thanthai sol mikka manthiramillai".
    Ramachandran V Bangalore 01 01 2014 Let Lord Anjaneya bless us this day being his Jayanthi.

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    1. Thank you Sir! Your blessings help a lot.

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    2. Pranam Ramachandran Sir. Thank you for the Blessings bestowed upon all of us.

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    3. What we live today is only due to the grace and upright/honest/helpful life lead by ancestors only, I feel personally. What we are doing now is nothing compared to our elders. Afraid, we are not up to the mark. Seeking your dad's Blessings who rest peacefully in The Heavens. Shashtanga Pranams.

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  2. Very nice , heart touching ,,hard work makes a man or woman actually a true human ..down to earth and humble

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    1. Thank you good heart. You really inspire with your clam and composed mature words. Really it is good you spread the message "keep smiling". I wish you and your children keep smiling.

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    2. Pranam Upma ji. Thank you:-)

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  3. Your post is a tribute to all Fathers, past..present & future...
    I have very little experience of my own father. My grandfather raised me since I was a small boy.
    Now I know how much it would have been difficult for him to play dual role of father & grandfather. But I will give him 100% marks in his both roles. He never mixed his both roles. A retired first class magistrate, who lost his IAS son in early 30s, worked again to raise his grandson along with four sister. In disciple, studies he was father but he was full grandfather when it was time to play.
    I bow my head to your father & through him to all fathers

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    1. Koti Koti Pranam Pradeep Sir. Koti Koti Pranam to Grandfather. Thank you for your valuable comments.

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  4. It is more touching. How difficult he would have felt each day raising you and seeing his son in you. I cant even think of the agony.

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  5. This is the best way to pay a tribute I.e "Remembrance". Many Many Pranams to your Father. Many Many Pranams to you Gurudev. You made him an "Immortal Soul" today by not only writing but also sharing a great piece of nostalgia among all of us. A heartfelt post.

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    1. Thank you very much Tiwary Jee! You did great service to the soul of my father.

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  6. This could have been an ideal blog on Father's Day.
    Will ever again see honest people in this world?
    Your Father had standards which you must follow and make others wise.
    Best wishes

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    1. Thank you for the accolades to my mentor and the good I try to live a life of austerity and help others within means.

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